


Body Count (Sexual)

by slotumn



Series: Continent of Fúckdlan [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Bad Dirty Talk, Dirty Talk, F/M, Ficlet, Sexual Humor, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being An Idiot, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:41:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22778113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slotumn/pseuds/slotumn
Summary: "I mean, what exactly counts as sex? Full-on penetration? Outercourse? Oral? Handjobs and fingering? Watching each other jerk it? Or, (gasp) the lewdest act of all, hand-holding?"A.K.A. Ingrid attempts dirty talk and it doesn't go as planned.
Relationships: Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Continent of Fúckdlan [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632499
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	Body Count (Sexual)

It started out as (an attempt at) dirty talk. 

Both of them were close, it felt good, and saying a line straight out of a pornographic novel like, "For everything you've ever fucked, your childhood friend and knight's pussy is still the best, right?" should have ideally led him to yelling another equally pornographic line like, "Fuck yes! Now, be a dutiful knight and get knocked up from your lord's cum!"

Somehow, he took that in a completely different direction. 

"I mean, what exactly counts as sex? Full-on penetration? Outercourse? Oral? Handjobs and fingering? Watching each other jerk it? Or," he gasped (both in mock-surprise and from the approaching orgasm), "the lewdest act of all, hand-holding?"

"I...don't have words right now."

Sylvain laughed as his thrusts became just as erratic as his ramblings.

"Don't worry, Ingrid! Many have held my cock, but you're the only one who holds my heart! And my cock."

She would have facepalmed if her arms weren't busy hanging onto his shoulders for dear life. 

"Sylvain, if this is how you respond to my attempts at dirty talk, I swear I'm going to make you wear a gag every time we have sex."

"Oh, I'd be into that."

"..."

Part of Ingrid really didn't want to believe that she came, hard, while having that whole exchange. 

**Author's Note:**

> In an alternate timeline somewhere, Ingrid's dirty talk worked and they're in a hentai doujinshi instead of this ficlet.


End file.
